Diary of a Programmer 52: You Know What We Don’t Do? We Don’t Watch Each Other Use the Computer Because We Always Use the Computer Alone
I know exactly where to stick my thumbs
when I place my hands on the keyboard–
just above the command keys on an Apple
or if it’s a PC just at the ends of space bar.
this allows my index through pinky fingers
to rest neatly on the middle row: asdf jkl;.
this is the beginning of any workflow
that I perform on my computer and
I have the windows and the desktops
set up in a way that makes perfect sense
to minimize hand movement and to speed
up efficiently during projects. for example
I can alt+tab between different programs,
as I am a master of shortcuts I can command+w
to close a tab or command+shift+[ or ] to switch
between tabs or function+f to toggle full screen.
it is no secret but everyone has their secret
methods and workflows and shortcuts and rituals
they perform when they are on their own computer
and I guess a secret becomes a secret by virtue
of just not telling anyone or sharing with anyone
by default. this is why it feels so dirty to share
the personal computing experience with anyone
else because it is like letting someone peek into
your private little masturbation rituals by
allowing them to see all the little jolts
of satisfaction you get out of three finger swiping
to switch between applications or using
command+shift+t to reopen all your tabs
every so often when you have to restart
your browser. the only experience I can liken
this to is reading a novel because it is impossible
to share the experience of reading a novel
unless you read it together out loud or listen
to it while you’re on a massive road trip
across the country or during your two hour
commute into LA every single fucking day
but really we all read alone on a little island
by ourselves and some of us use our fingers
to follow the lines and others even read the last
paragraph of a novel first and yet others won’t
even dare look at the last page of a book
before they read every single other page before it.
this what the experience of using a computer is like
except in a completely different and more virtual way
but I’m telling you that sometimes I sit down
in bed with my partner and we open the shell
of a laptop together and we bask in the glow
of the screen while watching a series and it is kind
of like sitting there in the glow of a camp fire
except we’re not roasting marshmallows
even though our brains are melting like ice caps
in the raging sun of twenty twenty five.